Thread View: wi.general
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Started by KangP
Wed, 06 Jan 1999 00:00
Country Music listener's FAQ
Author: KangP
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 1999 00:00
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 1999 00:00
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3363 bytes
RULES OF ETIQUETTE
PERSONAL HYGIENE
While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be
done in private using one's OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries
can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone,
deodorant is a waste of good money.
DINING OUT
When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour
slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. If drinking
directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the
label.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how
good it's manners are.
DATING (Outside The Family)
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting to
go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall two
years ago." Establish with her parents what time she is expected
back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the
latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to
school on time.
THEATER ETIQUETTE
Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up
immediately after the movie has ended. Refrain from talking to
characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
WEDDINGS
Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. Kissing the
bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. Though uncomfortable,
say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is
loaded, and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four-way stop,
the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. When
sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask
her to bring back beer. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle,
especially when driving.
TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
*Never take a beer to a job interview.
*Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
*It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
*If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
*Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is
still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to
Re: Country Music listener's FAQ
Author: John Yanny
Date: Thu, 07 Jan 1999 00:00
Date: Thu, 07 Jan 1999 00:00
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Q: The Beatles and what country-western star had the same hit song? A: Buck Owens Q: What was the song and who wrote it? A: "Act Naturally" written by none other than Buck Owens KangP@aol.com wrote: > RULES OF ETIQUETTE > > PERSONAL HYGIENE > While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be > done in private using one's OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries > can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, > deodorant is a waste of good money. > > DINING OUT > When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour > slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. If drinking > directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the > label. > > ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME > A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a > taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how > good it's manners are. > > DATING (Outside The Family) > > Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. > Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting to > go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall two > years ago." Establish with her parents what time she is expected > back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the > latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to > school on time. > > THEATER ETIQUETTE > Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up > immediately after the movie has ended. Refrain from talking to > characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. > > WEDDINGS > > Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. Kissing the > bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. Though uncomfortable, > say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. > > DRIVING ETIQUETTE > > Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is > loaded, and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four-way stop, > the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. When > sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask > her to bring back beer. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, > especially when driving. > > TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS > > *Never take a beer to a job interview. > *Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. > *It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. > *If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. > *Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is > still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to
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