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Started by Rowland Croucher
Sun, 13 Jun 2004 01:54
Non-living Genders
Author: Rowland Croucher
Date: Sun, 13 Jun 2004 01:54
Date: Sun, 13 Jun 2004 01:54
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Non-Living Genders You may not know that many non-living things have a gender; For example... 1) Freezer Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. 3) Tyre -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated. 4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. 5) Sponges -- female because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. 6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on. 7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. 8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. 9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. 10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. -- Shalom! Rowland Croucher http://www.pastornet.net.au/jmm/
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Vince Barmann
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 23:35
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 23:35
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Rowland Croucher wrote: > Non-Living Genders > > You may not know that many non-living things have a gender; For example... > > > 1) Freezer Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but > you can see right through them. > > 2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while > to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right > buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. > > 3) Tyre -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated. > > 4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to > light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. > > 5) Sponges -- female because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. > > 6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on. > > 7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. > > 8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the > bottom. I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. Vince <sigh> B.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Greg Evans
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 15:44
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 15:44
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Vince Barmann wrote: > I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. Until her biological clock started ticking....
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Vince Barmann
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 17:06
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 17:06
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Greg Evans wrote: > Vince Barmann wrote: > > >>I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. > > > Until her biological clock started ticking.... Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. -- This message has no sig.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Greg Evans
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 17:15
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 17:15
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Vince Barmann wrote: >>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >> Until her biological clock started ticking.... > > Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a second time!"
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Mos
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 17:31
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 17:31
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Greg Evans wrote: > Vince Barmann wrote: > >> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. > > Until her biological clock started ticking.... Does that mean she's going to blow ?
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Vince Barmann
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 18:51
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 18:51
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Mos wrote: > Greg Evans wrote: > >>Vince Barmann wrote: >> >> >>>I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >> >>Until her biological clock started ticking.... > Ticks? We must flee! > > Does that mean she's going to blow ? Well, I didn't know her THAT well. -- This message has no sig.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Alan
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 19:07
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 19:07
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On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 13:15:52 -0400, "Greg Evans" <misterx@larkbooks.com> wrote: >Vince Barmann wrote: > >>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >> >> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. > >...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a second time!" > Are you describing what happened minutely?
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Greg Evans
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 19:17
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 19:17
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Alan wrote: >>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a second >> time!" > > Are you describing what happened minutely? I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let hour readers imagine it for themselves.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Alan
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 02:12
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 02:12
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On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 15:17:15 -0400, "Greg Evans" <misterx@larkbooks.com> wrote: >>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a second >>> time!" >> >> Are you describing what happened minutely? > >I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let hour readers >imagine it for themselves. > Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also known as Ana Logue?
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Greg Evans
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 03:44
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 03:44
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Alan wrote: >>>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >>>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >>>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a second >>>> time!" >>> Are you describing what happened minutely? >> I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let hour >> readers imagine it for themselves. > > Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also known > as Ana Logue? Nope, she does things strictly by-the-numbers. Dig-it, Al?
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Alan
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 13:25
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 13:25
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On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 23:44:50 -0400, "Greg Evans" <gregIGNOREevans@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote: >Alan wrote: > >>>>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >>>>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >>>>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a second >>>>> time!" >>>> Are you describing what happened minutely? >>> I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let hour >>> readers imagine it for themselves. >> >> Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also known >> as Ana Logue? > >Nope, she does things strictly by-the-numbers. Dig-it, Al? > No. Why would she shout, "Watch those hands!" and have a Swiss movement?
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Greg Evans
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 14:24
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 14:24
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Alan wrote: >>>>>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >>>>>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>>>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >>>>>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a >>>>>> second time!" >>>>> Are you describing what happened minutely? >>>> I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let hour >>>> readers imagine it for themselves. >>> Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also >>> known as Ana Logue? >> Nope, she does things strictly by-the-numbers. Dig-it, Al? > > No. Why would she shout, "Watch those hands!" and have a Swiss > movement? I see you're trying to figure out what makes that joke tick.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Mos
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 16:14
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 16:14
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Greg Evans wrote: > Alan wrote: > >>>>>>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time left. >>>>>>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>>>>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >>>>>>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a >>>>>>> second time!" >>>>>> Are you describing what happened minutely? >>>>> I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let >>>>> hour readers imagine it for themselves. >>>> Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also >>>> known as Ana Logue? >>> Nope, she does things strictly by-the-numbers. Dig-it, Al? >> >> No. Why would she shout, "Watch those hands!" and have a Swiss >> movement? > > I see you're trying to figure out what makes that joke tick. You guys are getting too wound up over it.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Greg Evans
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 20:14
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 20:14
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Mos wrote: >>>>>>>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time >>>>>>>>>>> left. >>>>>>>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>>>>>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >>>>>>>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a >>>>>>>> second time!" >>>>>>> Are you describing what happened minutely? >>>>>> I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let >>>>>> hour readers imagine it for themselves. >>>>> Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also >>>>> known as Ana Logue? >>>> Nope, she does things strictly by-the-numbers. Dig-it, Al? >>> No. Why would she shout, "Watch those hands!" and have a Swiss >>> movement? >> I see you're trying to figure out what makes that joke tick. > > You guys are getting too wound up over it. I can't take that at face value. I don't know what LED you to believe that.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Mos
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 20:41
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 20:41
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Greg Evans wrote: > Mos wrote: > >>>>>>>>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time >>>>>>>>>>>> left. >>>>>>>>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>>>>>>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my advances. >>>>>>>>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a >>>>>>>>> second time!" >>>>>>>> Are you describing what happened minutely? >>>>>>> I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let >>>>>>> hour readers imagine it for themselves. >>>>>> Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also >>>>>> known as Ana Logue? >>>>> Nope, she does things strictly by-the-numbers. Dig-it, Al? >>>> No. Why would she shout, "Watch those hands!" and have a Swiss >>>> movement? >>> I see you're trying to figure out what makes that joke tick. >> >> You guys are getting too wound up over it. > > I can't take that at face value. I don't know what LED you to > believe that. The alarming number of your posts.
Re: Non-living Genders
Author: Greg Evans
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 22:20
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 22:20
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Mos wrote: >>>>>>>>>>>>> I remember Judy. An hourglass figure with lots of time >>>>>>>>>>>>> left. >>>>>>>>>>>> Until her biological clock started ticking.... >>>>>>>>>>> Never got that far, alas. She became alarmed at my >>>>>>>>>>> advances. >>>>>>>>>> ...And shouted out, "Watch those hands! I won't tell you a >>>>>>>>>> second time!" >>>>>>>>> Are you describing what happened minutely? >>>>>>>> I could describe her smooth Swiss movement, but we'll just let >>>>>>>> hour readers imagine it for themselves. >>>>>>> Besides it might leave us in a days and very week. Is she also >>>>>>> known as Ana Logue? >>>>>> Nope, she does things strictly by-the-numbers. Dig-it, Al? >>>>> No. Why would she shout, "Watch those hands!" and have a Swiss >>>>> movement? >>>> I see you're trying to figure out what makes that joke tick. >>> >>> You guys are getting too wound up over it. >> >> I can't take that at face value. I don't know what LED you to >> believe that. > > The alarming number of your posts. That'snooze to me!
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