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http://www.gate.net/~ruhig

DIVORCE: A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE
By Ralph Rewes

The separation is now definitive. The woman who was his wife for years
left him. He was now alone in the house, that she did not claim, and with
a heap of unpaid bills. To remain in a house that once was a home is more
painful than to move out. Many memories remained on the walls and in every
corner of the household once shared with the woman who once was the
motivation of his life. The mother of his children moved out; his children
went with her. The recollection of his son's words makes him sweat and
turn his hand icy cold:   "Daddy, why you are not moving with us?"

The man is now alone in an empty, drapeless house, with just a few pieces
of furniture. An old television set rests on a wobbling night table. There
are no noises, only those he makes; there are not complaints, only those
which he is made to itself; there are not laughs. There are no children
jumping on his knees. There is a rare absence of life. There is a great
void. Only the small Japanese box with its lit screen of fainted colors
alleviate the human absence. Thanks for leaving me the TV set!

He made everything possible to stop their walk toward divorce. He even
went through the process of undressing his mind and intimate habits before
of a marriage counselor and practiced advice that did not work. Everything
failed. He was a failure. Nothing left to be said. Nothing else to do.
Hours-long conversations were behind. So attempts to communicate were
useless. He always got back a "no" for an answer, sometimes figurative,
sometimes direct. Sometimes, the ubiquitous "no" was wrapped in that
frustrating phrase "I know you, I know that you will not change." That
phrase hurt more because he was really changing.  This was verified
paradoxically by the last phrase she said to him:  "I don't I know you
anymore." 
Many forces join two human beings, even when feelings may be already
shattered by constant, inexplicable misunderstandings. There was no way to
convince her: she did not want to be convinced. By trying so hard not to
hurt her feelings, he was hurting his own. How to end a love relationship
in friendly terms? How to explain to a child the cruel realities of a
total separation of his parents? There are neither acceptable nor
practical formulations. How he wanted for them to exist. 
There is no return now. The decision was hers, not his. Now, he had no
other option but to accept her final decision. By doing that, he was
forced in a new reality: a reality he considered his own failure, because
he couldn't make his marriage escape destruction. He was incapable of
motivating her to fight for something he believed valuable. To quietly
accept her decision was at the same time painful and confusing. No matter
how he now would face reality, in any event, he'll lose. If he blames
himself for the divorce, he will feel bad, maladjusted. Should he want to
build a new household, would he be able to maintain a stable and
meaningful relationship with another woman? Probably, yes. But now he
doubts it.

-- 
http://www.gate.net/~ruhig
The Big Splash Theory, Spanish Typesetting & Style Sheet
(English & Spanish), Divorce, Mans Viewpoint