🚀 go-pugleaf

"Hagar" <hsahm@surewest.net> wrote in
news:2e2dnaJfwt_e0CjbnZ2dnUVZ_vihnZ2d@giganews.com: 

> If one would want to create a brand new category in the AUK hierarchy
> of kookismn awards, such as, for instance "Dumbest Fuck that ever
> Lived" of the month,

If you ever bothered to read the AUK FAQ, Horrible, you'd know there are 
already lots of awards for st00pidity, including one that you've won.  
I'll do you a favor and lits them for you, along with descriptions and 
the announcement for the one that you won.

Clueless Newbie of the Month

The Clueless Newbie of the Month (CNotM) is pretty much the same sort of 
thing as the KotM, but honors spectacular cluelessness on Usenet rather 
than Kookery. Actually being a newbie is not a strict requirement for 
eligibility; but the type of cluelessness being recognized needs to be 
of the sort typical of newbies. If someone has been on the net for some 
time and still acts like a newbie, they're eligible.

You won this one for June.

CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH 

 The winner is...HAGAR! 

 09 votes Hagar 
 06 votes Jeremy AKA drumrboy 
 03 votes Privacy.Li 
 01 votes Vendicar Decarian 
 00 votes None of the above 

Congratulations, Horrible!  Whatever stupid thing you did, you did it 
well enough to beat someone who didn't know how to nominate someone for 
an award, someone who couldn't explain how an anonymous server worked 
even though he ran one, and someone who couldn't tell his arse from a 
hole in the ground.  Now, run along and show your saucerhead buddies 
your first AUK Kook award. 

Looney Maroon Award

The Looney Maroon Award is given based on the amount of childish, 
nonsensical, funny and downright ludicrous behaviour exhibited over a 
particular month. It is not meant to award the greatest overall Kook for 
that time, but is meant as a recognition of outstandingly looney 
behaviour by an individual or group, real or anonymous, animate or 
robotic. Nominees from Usenet and beyond are eligible.

To win the LMA, a candidate must most strongly meet a majority of the 
following criteria:

Show intelligence off the deep end of the bell curve 
Consistently say things that are hideously nonsensical 
Prove themselves wrong while pretending to be an 'expert' 
Exhibit a passion for metaphorically banging their head against a wall 
Be profoundly ignorant 
Persistently refuse to allow themselves to be enlightened 
Demonstrate a gift for false prophecy 
Regularly cite questionable sources of information as 'fact' 

Several regulars of alt.astronomy have won this, and two of them are 
running for it this month.

Joseph Bartlo "Pathetic Anal Pineapple" Award

The "Jojo Pineapple" is awarded every month to the Usenet poster who 
best establishes a pattern of stupidity, idiocy, moronism, silliness, 
cretinism and general kookery in a way exemplified by the eponymous 
founder of this award, Joseph "Foamboi" Bartlo.

You were nominated for this one back in May, but lost to Crash Street 
Kidd.

Bolo Bullis Foam Duck

The spoonerism for "dumb fuck", for those who've lost more marbles than 
a Chinese Checker factory will ever make.

The Elite Earth and Spaced-Out Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy 
has won this as a unit.

Village Idiot

The name says it all.

Honest John of alt.astronomy holds this office right now.

http://www.caballista.org/auk/awards.html
http://www.caballista.org/auk/faq.html#question16

> and one would want to nominate Fart Dicko for
> that nomination, how would one go about it ??

 Even though he is a
> shoo-in, we would want to pretend that we went through some sort of
> voting process, even though the result is a foregone conclusion ....

Why don't you take over the defunct alt.flame awards?  I could use the 
laugh and the UV points.

> it's Dicko, hands down. P.S. In case you're wondering (once again) who
> "we" is, well, it's everyone who isn't you, dumbass. 

There Is No We.
-- 
Pinku-Sensei 
Co-FNVW of AUK 
Acting Pollmaster of AFA-B 
Official Overseer of Kooks & Trolls in rec.arts.marching.drumcorps 
http://www.caballista.org/auk/index.html