🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <bearclaw-9FE610.00333229102006@news.supernews.com>,
 bearclaw@cruller.invalid wrote:

> Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't 
> prepared for the answer:
> 
> In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first 
> witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her 
> and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
> 
> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you 
> since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big 
> disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you 
> manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think 
> you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will 
> amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
> 
> The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across 
> the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
> 
> She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was 
> a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He 
> can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is 
> one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his 
> wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know 
> him."
> 
> The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to 
> approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you 
> idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

Oh, and BTW: the word testimony and its variants come from the Roman 
Empire's um, "tradition" of having witnesses in court swear on their 
testicles. No Bibles in those days.

-- 
"I wear boots when I play that ol' squeezebox
 Stompin' out rhythms
 'till the headstones dance on their graves"

I have it on good authority that on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 01:44:09 -0500,
bearclaw@cruller.invalid wrote:

>Oh, and BTW: the word testimony and its variants come from the Roman 
>Empire's um, "tradition" of having witnesses in court swear on their 
>testicles. No Bibles in those days.

	Having males swear by their testicles today might reduce the
incidences of perjury.  Not sure what we'd do about female witnesses.
Maybe have them swear by their breasts.

-- 
Kent

A: Maybe because some people are too annoyed by top-posting.
Q: Why do I not get an answer to my question(s)?
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? 

Kent Wills <compuelf@gmail.com> wrote
> bearclaw@cruller.invalid wrote

>> Oh, and BTW: the word testimony and its variants come
>> from the Roman Empire's um, "tradition" of having witnesses
>> in court swear on their testicles. No Bibles in those days.

> Having males swear by their testicles today might reduce the incidences of perjury.

Unlikely unless those who perjure themselves actually lose theirs etc.

> Not sure what we'd do about female witnesses.

Bes to do what the moslems do, they only rate 5:1
with male witnesses or whatever the ratio actually is.

> Maybe have them swear by their breasts.

Again, unlikely to work unless perjurers have theirs hacked off.