🚀 go-pugleaf

     "So," Jerriphrrt said, with characteristic enthusiasm-bordering-on-
apathy, "on this very day, ten years ago, Sfstory was started."
     The Swede, who was lounging in a reclining chair that was located
smack dab in the middle of a starship's battle bridge, looked up.  All
around him and the others present, exciting, battle-starship-ish things
were happening, in the form of oddly flashing lights, screens flashing
random CGI graphics and/or truck destination lists, and a crew of
remodelers hurriedly painting over the "Taco Bell" signs on the walls.  He
considered the statement for several moments.
     "That," the Swede noted, "is a true statement."
     "Thank you for the confirmation," Jerriphrrt replied, not entirely
hiding a trace of sarcasm.
     "You gathered us all here to tell us that?" Emma Goldman asked, as she
looked over her plans to foment anarchism in the Deneb Cluster.  Next to
her, James Dean was eating smarties by the handful, the pupils in his eyes
growing  smaller and smaller as his sugar buzz grew in magnitude.
     "I, Bagelos, thought something more substantial was going to happen
today," Bagelos, would-be ruler of the universe, in-actuality
terminally-underfunded failed entrepreneur, said.  "I, Bagelos, was about
to launch my latest revenue-generating venture, one that will provide me
with all the capital I, Bagelos, need to launch universal domination plan
#47!"
     "So what's the plan this time?" Gham asked, as Jerriphrrt massaged her
feet.  "Weaselgrams?"
     "Nope."
     "An editing service?"
     "Far grander than that!"
     "Then what?"
     Bagelos stood and gestured grandly, the light from the burrito-cooker
catching the jewel that covered one eye.
     "I, Bagelos, shall open the universe's first karaoke bar... for pets!"
     Upon looking around, Bagelos discovered the others were not exactly
catching the triumphant vibes he was giving off.  "Really!" he added.
"It'll work!  Pet owners will bring in their pampered dogs and cats and sea
otters and senators and have them sing to favorites like 'Mack the Knife'
and 'The Giant Space Weasel of Anthrax V Sleeps Tonight!'"
     "Hey," Ralph the Giant Space Weasel of Anthrax V said, as he peered in
through the overhead window.  "Before you do that, we're gonna have to talk
royalties, pal."
     "We seem to be drifting slightly off-topic here," the Swede noted.
     "Like there's anything else for us to do," Slithis grumped.
     "The point is, today is the tenth anniversary of the first-ever
Sfstory posting on CSNEWS, which later became UMNEWS, and then NICBBS,
before we joined Superguy at ucf1vm (and later eyrie.org).  There was going
to be an anthology of sfstory stories posted today to celebrate this...."
     "Sounds great," Jerriphrrt noted.  "So where is it?"
     "Well... it kind of isn't ready."
     "Ah."
     "Well, see, of the five authors who told me they'd have material
ready, only one's gotten it to me so far.  Adding in my story, that's two.
Not enough for an anthology."
     "Hoog," Benjen commented.
     "Indeed," the Swede said.  "That's why I brought you all here, to mark
this occasion while the other stories are written.  The anthology will be
posted in two weeks from this day (on Sunday, February 2nd, 1997)."
     "Right," Bagelos said.  "That said, can we go now?"
     "Hang on," the Swede told him.  "I arranged for some fireworks."
     "Um..." Ralph started.
     "You didn't..." Benjen added.
     At that point, the drive-in window crashed through as a heavily armed
being entered, guns blazing, grenades flying and inane battle cries issuing.
     "Hi, Zark," the Swede said, while everyone else dove for cover.
"How's life?"
     Zark immediately skidded to a halt, stared at the Swede for a while,
always seeming on the edge of answering the question.
     "Well, while he's figuring that out, how 'bout we roll them thar teasers."

WILL ZARK FIGURE OUT THE ANSWER IN TWO WEEKS TIME?
WILL HE ARRIVE AT AN ADEQUATE UNDERSTANDING OF THE QUESTION IN TWO WEEKS?
WILL HIS RESPONSE BE ANY LESS VIOLENT IF HE DOES MANAGE TO UNDERSTAND?

Coming in two weeks: "Now It's Your Turn: the Sfstory Tenth Anniversary
Anthology," only to SFSTORY!  Go for the gusto!

--
Gary W. Olson
swede@mail.sojourn.com
http://www.sojourn.com/~swede