🚀 go-pugleaf

In <DrBL7p.BKt@world.std.com> jcooley@world.std.com (John Cooley)
writes: 
>
>Bogbody <bogbody@aol.com> wrote:
>>I, too, am impressed when I hear that a man has a nice car or owns
his own
>>house. I am not overly impressed when I hear that a man lives with
five
>>roommates in a run-down flat and rides a second-hand scooter. As
several
>>women have pointed out, however, it is not the WEALTH that is
impressive,
>>it is the indication that the man is a responsible, stable adult.

This is so true.  I do like a man who owns a home or even rents his own
apt.  This is because I take care of myself and I like to know a man
can take care of himself. 

 If
>>wealth were the issue, then I would be impressed by men who drive
Ferari's
>>(spelling, sorry) - as it is, I wouldn't be interested in a man who
drove
>>such a vulgar, flashy thing. If a man is too wealthy, I might become
>>uneasy. (I'm not sure why.) However, if a man has a NICE car and a
DECENT
>>place to live, then my weird female instincts say "Ah! Now, he might
just
>>turn out to be a wonderful father for my children." At the very
least,
>>even if I'm not looking to have babies, I still feel re-assured that
this
>>guy might not be the type to borrow money and be flighty.

I've been involved with men who hadn't left home yet and I won't get
involved with them because they don't know how to be responsible.  If I
life with a man I don't want to take over the role of "mom"
>
>
>That's funny: these are almost the exact same words my fireman friend
said
>when he got the house on Cape Cod and the Jeep.  (I went to his
wedding
>yesterday.)  He used to say he could almost hear the women go into
this
>"maternal mode" when they saw his car and heard he owned a house.  He
>got a hell of a lot of dates and really enjoyed himself this way!
>
>
>>I hope that men are using similar, parrallel criteria when they are
>>evaluating a woman they have just met...
>
>That's a little more complicated these days, Katy.  It used to be that
>men were purely judged as "success objects" and women as "sex objects"
>(to very grossly oversimplfy things)...  but with women's equality and
the
>economic pressures we're all under, it's gotten kind of muddied.   I
must
>admit that most guys still have to be physically attracted (at first)
>for a relationship to even begin and I don't think this is really
going
>to change much....

This goes both ways.
>
>I have an aquaintance (more like a friend of a friend) who I've known
for
>the past three years whose name I'll say is "Barb".  Barb has been
going out
>with Ben for over 9 years and desperately wants to marry him.  He said
no
>because of a mix of reasons plus the fact he wanted her to lose some
weight.
>Barb was kind of bullshit about the whole thing so started to try
dating
>other men.  She has a fairly good job, her own condo, but she was 5'6"
>and wore size 22 clothes.  She couldn't get any guys to date her. 
Over
>about 6 months she lost about 30 lbs and plateaued at size 18.  For
the 
>past 1 1/2 years she's been doing everything to get a steady
>boyfriend -- stuff like paying big bucks to answer personal ads and
>joining dating services.  And every weekend the friend of a friend
tells
>me how poor Barb had a great date with some new guy -- but they
*never*
>call her back for a second date.  Barb's even joined one of those
pricey
>dating services where it worked out to $120.00 per date -- and she
still
>can't get a second date!
>
>  - John
>
When your overwieght I don't think dating services are the way to go. 
She needs to meet men and let them get to know her.  These men aren't
getting a chance to see her personality.  It's like going on a blind
date.  The only way any of us will do it, is if the person is
attractive.  When you meet someone for the first time and your even a
little disappointed that sets the stage for the rest of the date.  You
don't allow yourself to relax and get to know the person from the
inside out.  I'm not saying this is right or wrong, just how it is in
most cases.

Just my opinion

Jen