🚀 go-pugleaf

On Tue, 9 Apr 1996, John Cooley wrote:

> Over the years the majority of my male peers I've heard mention anything
> about sex & dating usually say that they'll give a woman anywhere from 3 to
> 7 dates before either going to bed with her or moving on.  That is, they
> try to get to know the woman first.  After that they want to know whether
> she's worth any further investment of time & energy (i.e. is she great
> or lousy in bed?)
> 
> Of course, this completely grates against the let's-spend-months-getting-
> to-know-each-other-before-even-kissing style many women would like to
> follow if they got their druthers in the dating world.
> 
> What results most of the time is something in between these two approaches.
> 
>   - John

Ahh, the days of college, when you COULD spend months getting to know
someone because everyone hung out together. The only close thing to that
is the work situation, and that has its downside also as you have to work
with the person even if the romance blows up. The next best thing is
dating someone who you got to know while you were out of circulation
dating someone else... so you can get to know the other people around 
without the pressure of "put out or get out". 

What is really weird is the idea of bedding strangers... to those of us
who were with someone very close for years and know what it is like to
REALLY care about the person we're with because we know them so well. To
actually care about them even when they are not looking lovely, when they
fade in the middle of a lovemaking session, when they can't even get
started... and we still love them. Good times and bad. Imagine having 
someone like you that much, as a friend too, not just a lover. 'course 
lust is great also, so's love... and if you have all three... great stuff.

--L