🚀 go-pugleaf

Tracy Hornschuch (browntr@engr.orst.edu) wrote:

[quite a bit of good stuff clipped, simply for sake of length]


: > 2. There's a typo that makes this question hard to answer as written.  But
: >    I'll try.  Yes, because PKers *are* taking the leadership role in the
: >    household.  No, because that role does not mean what you think.

: Totally understand.  I've been talking to someone on the phone about this
: for the last few days.  He isn't a member, but has attended a meeting.  He
: has been very insightfull on this subject and has helped me answer my
: personal questions and concerns.  He also understands my concerns, and
: definatly understands my *two-way* road concept.  He has been able to
: explain to me (from his point of view) that the *seven promises* and the
: two-way road can be combined into a heathy and happy marriage that can
: last for a very long time.

: > I think you might well change your mind about PK if you had personal
: > acquaintance with a few PK families.  I have a few within my circle of

: I believe my friend has helped with this.

i wish the media would talk to more people like you, who have truly looked
into PK, not just at a general surfacy level, but on the personal,
individual level.

Thank you for taking these steps of wisdom.

...

: Totally agree with you on the NOW description.  That's one reason why I
: don't support them.  They've taken their role in society to an extent that
: I don't agree with; it's just too much.

: I feel for the most part that promises about marriage should not be
: broken.  During my talks with my friend, I've explained to him my desire
: to be married and to be married in that marriage for the rest of my life.
: I've explained to him my desire to see my 50th wedding anniversary before
: I die.  Then I've explained why I so much desire to be married in a church
: the next time I'm married.  When he asked why... I explained to him that
: being married in a church puts the marriage on a different level than
: going to a justice of the peace.

: I believe after spending over 12 hours on the phone with him this weekend
: (not all at once) he understands.  Maybe some day I'll be able to
: accomplish my desire.  I'm open to alot in life, and I'm open to religion
: as a whole.  I just need to find someone who is open like me.  I don't
: mind a husband who feels as if he's a *leader* in the household, but he
: will have to know that we, as a couple, will have to talk about all
: choices for the household and must agree on the answers.

i truly hope you accomplish this desire.
Regarding your opinion about how a husband can be leader (and should be with
you), i think that fits in line with what PK wants to see in husbands. The
problem has been that men take leadership and stop--they don't relenquish
authority to God. When they don't do that, they worship themselves rather 
than God, and stop truly loving and caring for their wives, making them slaves 
rather than life partners.


: When I make a promoise for marriage it's for life.  When I give a man my
: heart and soul, it's for life.  I would like the same out of my future
: husband.  It's for life, because it would break my heart and soul if it
: wasn't.

i feel that same way. The only thing i should be committed to more than my
wife is God.  That sounds like an escape route for getting out of a
relationship--but if we're both following Jesus, then i truly do not believe
God would have us separate (except by death).

: I didn't marry for the right reasons the first time, and I don't plan on
: making that same mistake again.  My ex was abusive to me and the kids, and
: cheated on me. It took me over five years and a good friend before I left
: him.  The time we were together I was there, because I wanted my children
: to grow up with both parents in the house.  I know I made the right choice
: in leaving him.  And if I find myself in the same situation any time in
: the future I will leave.  A woman shouldn't be expected to stay in an
: abusive marriage/relationship just for the sake of a promise or children.

i believe you did make the right decision (not that you outside validation). 
What Promise Keepers wants to do is, on the male side, transform men's lives
so that a divorce doesn't become necessary.  
What PK and i belive is that even men who have "sinned" (to use the
Christianese) can be truly changed is if they accept the forgiveness that
Jesus provides and follow him. All the counseling and "rehabilitation"
doesn't change the heart; they just reduce the outward flow of the heart.
Jesus provides that same forgiveness and healing to those who have been hurt
and scarred by "sin", especially that of abusive men.


Sorry if i'm preaching...but Jesus is at the heart of what PK (and myself)
are about.   Again, not that you need my words, but keep on talking to your
friend (and others)...following Jesus  does mean closing some doors and some
thoughts and behaviors, but it ultimately doesn't entrap the mind.


i'm sorry for the pain you went through because of man's (genderwise)
arrogance.

i hope you find the right man soon...


: Take care,
: Tracy

Working on aga'pe...


: browntr@engr.orst.edu                   | tracyh@teleport.COM
: http://www.engr.orst.edu/~browntr/      | http://www.teleport.com/~tracyh/
: I would like to find a man who wants    | Have you told your children
: to be married and a father for life.    | you love them today?


P.S. i looked at your web pages (and your kids' pages; you helped *just a
little bit* with them, right;). They look great!  i've added the
Missing/Exploited Children link to my links page.


--
j.p. paulus                               4625 N. Kenmore Avenue  #2
shadowm@ripco.com                              Chicago IL 60640-5024
http://pages.ripco.com:8080/~shadowm/index.html         773/784-5640
    ********************** GO GOD!!!!! ************************