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Article #17683New! Perform Colonoscopic Surgery In The Comfort Of Your Own Home
From: Candy-Colored Clown
Date: Sun, 15 Oct 1995 00:00
Date: Sun, 15 Oct 1995 00:00
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2333 bytes
You've read about it! You've seen it on TV! Now available without federally
mandated doctor's supervision--DigiColonics proudly presents the new
DeColonator 5000!! No more uncomfortable hospital visits, confusing medical
insurance forms, or messy stool samples! Simply plug our patented
Colonoscopic Extractor (tm) into an available serial port on the back of your
PC, follow the easy online instructions provided with our software, insert the
extractor into you rectum, and it's "bye-bye colon!" Yes it's that simple!
In a matter of hours, you'll be colon-free! Our automated medical waste
disposal system ensures safe and easy self-surgery which is fun for the whole
family! In fact, we're so sure you'll enjoy the benefits of the DeColonator
5000 that we back every unit sold with a no-questions-asked colon-back
guarantee: If, within 30 days, you're not completely satisfied for any
reason, our medically-trained production supervisors will replace your colon
absolutely free of charge! You've got nothing to lose except your colon-so
order today while supplies last! Dial 1-800-NO-COLON! Operators are standing
by!
DigiColonics-"If it won't excrete, it's time to delete!"
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"A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
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X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit X-Google-Thread: f9d08,1693b6c3a9ac8093,start X-Google-Attributes: gidf9d08,public X-Google-Thread: 106e75,1693b6c3a9ac8093,start X-Google-Attributes: gid106e75,public X-Google-Thread: 10ed7b,1693b6c3a9ac8093,start X-Google-Attributes: gid10ed7b,public X-Google-Thread: 104d31,1693b6c3a9ac8093,start X-Google-Attributes: gid104d31,public X-Google-Thread: 1051ef,1693b6c3a9ac8093,start X-Google-Attributes: gid1051ef,public From: breitt@interaccess.com (Candy-Colored Clown) Subject: New! Perform Colonoscopic Surgery In The Comfort Of Your Own Home Date: 1995/10/15 Message-ID: <breitt.427.01A365B7@interaccess.com> X-Deja-AN: 117586015 organization: InterAccess, Chicago's best Internet Service Provider newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.personals,chi.personals,rec.humor,alt.journalism.gonzo