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Article #17683

New! Perform Colonoscopic Surgery In The Comfort Of Your Own Home

#17683
From: Candy-Colored Clown
Date: Sun, 15 Oct 1995 00:00
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You've read about it!  You've seen it on TV!  Now available without federally 
mandated doctor's supervision--DigiColonics proudly presents the new 
DeColonator 5000!!  No more uncomfortable hospital visits, confusing medical 
insurance forms, or messy stool samples!  Simply plug our patented 
Colonoscopic Extractor (tm) into an available serial port on the back of your 
PC, follow the easy online instructions provided with our software, insert the 
extractor into you rectum, and it's "bye-bye colon!"  Yes it's that simple!  
In a matter of hours, you'll be colon-free!  Our automated medical waste 
disposal system ensures safe and easy self-surgery which is fun for the whole 
family!  In fact, we're so sure you'll enjoy the benefits of the DeColonator 
5000 that we back every unit sold with a no-questions-asked colon-back 
guarantee:  If, within 30 days, you're not completely satisfied for any 
reason, our medically-trained production supervisors will replace your colon 
absolutely free of charge!  You've got nothing to lose except your colon-so 
order today while supplies last!  Dial 1-800-NO-COLON!  Operators are standing 
by!

DigiColonics-"If it won't excrete, it's time to delete!"
               

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                "A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
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From: breitt@interaccess.com (Candy-Colored Clown)
Subject: New! Perform Colonoscopic Surgery In The Comfort Of Your Own Home
Date: 1995/10/15
Message-ID: <breitt.427.01A365B7@interaccess.com>
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