Thread View: talk.bizarre
2 messages
2 total messages
Started by Candy-Colored Clown
Sun, 04 Aug 1996 00:00
New!! Tuneful Medical Results!!
Author: Candy-Colored Clown
Date: Sun, 04 Aug 1996 00:00
Date: Sun, 04 Aug 1996 00:00
29 lines
2496 bytes
2496 bytes
You're sitting in the doctor's waiting room with your wife. She's just had
that lump in her breast examined. Suddenly, her physician tentatively pops
his head out through the doorway and announces with a grim expression,
"Mr. And Mrs. Smith, I'm afraid I have bad news." Is this any way to receive
information that will affect the rest of your lives? We at SurgiTunes think
not--that�s why we recommend the Singing Mammogram! That's right! Why not
let the soothing power of music help your sweetheart adjust to the painful
reality of upcoming surgery and treatment! Our professionally trained
vocalists will arrive at your door to buoyantly deliver the test results
directly to your wife! No more embarrassing bouts of public hysteria at the
hospital! Simply call us with the time and place of your wife's exam, and
we'll coordinate the rest. Our friendly, knowledgeable singing staff boasts a
huge repertoire of musical numbers including such medical classics as
'Radical Mastectomy, Dude,' 'Sister Cyst,' 'Mammary Memories,'
'Don�t Worry, Be Floppy,' and dozens more that our expert team of surgical
lyricists will customize for your wife's particular medical condition! Help
brighten a potentially dour occasion with a Singing Mammogram before
December 31, 1996 and receive a certificate good for one Singing Cardiogram
for your favorite heart patient. Remember, nothing says 'I love you' quite
like tragic medical test results delivered by a cheerful caroler!
"A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
Re: New!! Tuneful Medical Results!!
Author: Elizabeth H.
Date: Mon, 05 Aug 1996 00:00
Date: Mon, 05 Aug 1996 00:00
25 lines
2040 bytes
2040 bytes
In article <4u175v$cki@nntp.interaccess.com> breitt@interaccess.com (Candy-Colored Clown) writes:
>You're sitting in the doctor's waiting room with your wife. She's just had
>that lump in her breast examined. [...we...recommend the Singing Mammogram!
>[...vocalists will arrive at your door to buoyantly
deliver the test results >directly to your wife! [... such medical classics
as >'Radical Mastectomy, Dude,' 'Sister Cyst,' 'Mammary Memories,' >'Don�t
Worry, Be Floppy,' and dozens more. [... a certificate good for one Singing
Cardiogram >for your favorite heart patient. Remember, nothing says 'I love
you' quite >like tragic medical test results delivered by a cheerful caroler!
First 20 callers will also receive absolutely free, selections from the
"Prostate At Your Feet", "I'll Cross Any Incontinent For You, "Vasectomy,
Was It Heck For You?" and "Will You Still Collostomy When I'm On An IV?"
collection for the boyfriend/husband who has suffered any of the relevant
medical problems. Quantities are limited and they're going fast so call today.
Betsy H. <who doesn't post anonymously>
Thread Navigation
This is a paginated view of messages in the thread with full content displayed inline.
Messages are displayed in chronological order, with the original post highlighted in green.
Use pagination controls to navigate through all messages in large threads.
Back to All Threads