🚀 go-pugleaf

Oh yes...

Breaking in your first pair of Cargo Shorts is one of the most important
steps in a man's life!

People just don't understand that shorts make the man.  They have to look a
certain way, and highlight the areas the need highlighting.

You want to be sure that, when seated, the genital area does not 'tent',
thus giving your male pizza and beer buddy the wrong impression; yet when
standing, it is equally important that DIY castration is not likely.

The added value of additional pockets can be elusive at first... but when
you need to carry numerous items, especially when time is a factor, they
become invaluable.

In my case, I require a larger size cargo short... not only because of my
massive dick, but because of the large stomach they need to surround...
Thus the pockets are bigger.

I prefer the draw cord myself... which can be tied at a spot which is
suitable for ample comfort and stability around the waist area.

So when I am nicking DVDs from my local VideoEzy, I can shove at least four
of them into my pockets, and run for my dear life, without fear of losing my
plunder!

So there you have it.  If you are really good, I will tell you about the
first time I tried on a thong (and I don't mean shoes!).


--

- The Limey.

(P.S.  If this bullshit story doesn't stop posts like this, then nothing
will!)

If you wear boxers under cargo pants ... does that mean you have "boxed
cargo"?

Or a little weanie that can run free without others noticing?


"oxidation" <oxinthebox@dontmesswithtexas.com> wrote in message
news:9sk0q4$t63$1@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu...
> "SonofaGunderson" <sonofagunderson@fuckyou.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:70c91ebb.0111100801.18c2a90@posting.google.com...
> > I now have a new found confidence with these shorts like Ive never
> > felt before.  Im going to new places and doing new things.  Im also
> > going to add a baseball cap to the assemble.
>
> That's great.  Cargo shorts are a huge improvement over elastic band
shorts.
> Its important to dress nice because it gives you confidence.  And the
> important thing is that YOU think you look nice not what other people
think.
> I have this denim jacket that just makes me feel so cool.  When I wear it
> girls make eye contact with me and smile when I walk past them.  Its not
the
> jacket though, its the confidence I get from wearing it.
>
> --
> oxidation տլ
>
>

why are you asking me?

What a wierd post ... I thought I was reading the wrong NG.
aus.motorcycles? Does this mean these are a fashion accessory for bikes?
Help me, this is confusing... Steve S.

oxidation wrote:

> why are you asking me?

SonofaGunderson <sonofagunderson@fuckyou.co.uk> wrote:

> I now have a new found confidence with these shorts like Ive never
> felt before.  Im going to new places and doing new things.  Im also
> going to add a baseball cap to the assemble.

Looks like the dawn of a whole new age for you.

Maybe the "Age of Bermuda". : )

How the hell did the internet get so bad that we are subjected to
"Cargo-shorts Fan Fiction"?

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH'


What a laugh

Gman
CBR250rr


"SonofaGunderson" <sonofagunderson@fuckyou.co.uk> wrote in message
news:70c91ebb.0111100801.18c2a90@posting.google.com...
> My first pair of cargo shorts.
>
> For as long as I can remember Ive always worn shorts with an elastic
> waistband with two pockets at the side and one in the back. I usually
> have a brown pair but Ive also owned a green and a red pair.
>
> A year ago for Christmas my Aunt Florence gave me a pair of khaki
> cargo shorts, the type that go down right to your knees with eight
> pockets and buttons everywhere. I smiled and thanked her politely and
> promptly put them in the back of the closet when I got home.
>
> Last week I was walking home from the shops carrying my groceries when
> without warning, the elastic in my shorts snapped. I was walking past
> an all girls school at the time and all the young female students were
> leaving the premises and getting in their parents Mercs and BMWs. And
> there I was struggling with my shopping and desperately trying to hold
> up my shorts. The fact that I had about $20 in change in my pockets
> didnt help matters as the weight was almost yanking my shorts to my
> ankles while the young female student of this affluent school were
> laughing and pointing at me.  This was one of the most embarrassing
> moments of my life, and believe me there have been many.
> Finally I got home and put my shopping down and inspected my
> malfunctioning shorts. The elastic had just clean snapped. Usually I
> can predict to a reasonable degree of accuracy when the elastic is
> about to go and purchase a replacement pair but this one caught me by
> surprise.
>
> Now Im all alone, my favourite shorts are gone and I know Im going to
> have to try on the cargo shorts.
>
> I fished them out of the back of the closet and held them up for
> inspection. They looked so big and baggy and I just couldnt imagine
> what they would look like on.  I couldnt go ahead with this so quickly
> so I decided to go to bed and Id wake up to a new day and a new pair
> of shorts.
>
> The next day when I woke up the shorts were exactly where I left them,
> still looking all baggy and puffy and daring me to try them on.
>
> I sipped them on and did up all the fastening buttons and the button
> fly.  So far so good, the waist felt snug and secure.  I looked down
> and was surprised when I could barley see my knees.  I turned to
> inspect my shorts in the mirror and it was as if someone had played a
> cruel hoax on me and switched my mirror with one from a fun house.  I
> looked shorter and squatter than I usually do and the short just
> emphasised  my portly figure and stumpy legs.  I ripped my shorts off
> and began to sob.  I sobbed for over an hour and I just didnt know
> what to do.  Eventually I cried myself to sleep.  The next morning I
> decided I needed some help so I called my Aunt Florence, she always
> knows what to do.  I explained my predicament and she said she would
> be there within 40 minutes.  38 minutes later I heard her car screech
> to a halt outside my house.
>
> She spoke quickly and apologised for being rude but said this
> situation required swift action.
>
> She told me to put on the shorts and stand in the middle of the living
> room.  Aunt Flo then walked around me, sizing me up, inspecting me
> from every angle while not saying a word.  Eventually she reached into
> her shoulder bag and pulled out an oversized white T-shirt. Try this
> on she said.  I slipped the T-shirt on and proceeded to tuck it into
> my shorts (like I have always done) and she said Ahhahh..  NOT
> TUCKING!!!
>
> So I left the bottom of the oversized T-shirt hanging out and felt
> totally stupid as Aunt Flo lead me to the mirror.
>
> I couldnt believe the reflection in the mirror was actually me!  The
> T-shirt hid some of my ample frame and de-emphasised my stumpy
> stature.
>
> The next day I did my shopping and all went well except for when I was
> carrying my groceries home I could feel my shorts slipping ever so
> slightly. Im going to rectify this by wearing a belt in future.
>
> Im so lucky I have Aunt Flo to help in situations like this.  She can
> be curt at times, but she really gets the job done.
>
> I now have a new found confidence with these shorts like Ive never
> felt before.  Im going to new places and doing new things.  Im also
> going to add a baseball cap to the assemble.

On Sun, 11 Nov 2001 19:21:33 +1100, "Ben Deane-Freeman"
<budgetrecordings@bigpond.com> wrote:

>How the hell did the internet get so bad that we are subjected to
>"Cargo-shorts Fan Fiction"?
>

I think this the first signs in the West of what is known as the
"cargo shorts cult".

It all began in New Guinea in the 1930's when British missionaries
would parachute-drop packages of baggy shorts to highland villagers in
the hopes that they would wear the shorts instead of stuffing their
penises into gourds, which apparently was an affront to God, despite
the fact that He made both penises and gourds (although admittedly you
can't blame him for combining the two).

The highlanders had never seen planes before, so naturally assumed
they were gods dispensing largesse. They used the shorts as containers
for sago. They continued stuffing their penises into gourds.

When they wanted more shorts they would set about building big altars
on which they sacrificed pigs to the shorts-dispensing winged
sky-gods. Which is a marginally better use of time that writing this
desultory drivel...............

gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote in message ...
>It all began in New Guinea in the 1930's when British missionaries
>would parachute-drop packages of baggy shorts to highland villagers

Is this where "parachute pants" came from, too?

On Mon, 12 Nov 2001 17:31:16 +1100, "Ben Deane-Freeman"
<budgetrecordings@bigpond.com> wrote:

>
>gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote in message ...
>>It all began in New Guinea in the 1930's when British missionaries
>>would parachute-drop packages of baggy shorts to highland villagers
>
>Is this where "parachute pants" came from, too?
>

Of course.

"I do stuff my hands".......Gra-gra

So can someone explain to me why "stubbies" with the little change pocket
on the front went out of fashion/production... they would have been 70's
gear I guess, back with the boob tube and cork soles!!

Flash

gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote:

> On Mon, 12 Nov 2001 17:31:16 +1100, "Ben Deane-Freeman"
> <budgetrecordings@bigpond.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote in message ...
> >>It all began in New Guinea in the 1930's when British missionaries
> >>would parachute-drop packages of baggy shorts to highland villagers
> >
> >Is this where "parachute pants" came from, too?
> >
>
> Of course.
>
> "I do stuff my hands".......Gra-gra

On Mon, 12 Nov 2001 20:33:35 +0800, Steve S <steves@bigfoot.com.au>
wrote:

>So can someone explain to me why "stubbies" with the little change pocket
>on the front went out of fashion/production... they would have been 70's
>gear I guess, back with the boob tube and cork soles!!

And Long Stubbies, remember them? They used to drive the women
crazy..........."Mmmm, Long Stubbies!" 

There was an oxymoronic brand name if ever there was one.

And remember Uncle Sam? "You need Uncle Sam, You need Uncle Sam, let's
get together with the Stars and Stripes can.... bla bla bla bla ... la
de de da.... and under your arm is the top of the earth!"  Imagine the
US being turned into a brand name? Tsk tsk.

>
>Flash
>
>gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 12 Nov 2001 17:31:16 +1100, "Ben Deane-Freeman"
>> <budgetrecordings@bigpond.com> wrote:
>>
>> >
>> >gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote in message ...
>> >>It all began in New Guinea in the 1930's when British missionaries
>> >>would parachute-drop packages of baggy shorts to highland villagers
>> >
>> >Is this where "parachute pants" came from, too?
>> >
>>
>> Of course.
>>
>> "I do stuff my hands".......Gra-gra

will gra-gra brown Wekzeugspritze 
OH - which was SO merry! 
They are the x27�5  good! 
They have the right absolutely! 
They are, know to you that fantastically? 
HAHAHA! That was the merriest thing which I actually read!   
 

You can still get Stubbies at KMart.   But not in fashion (?) colours.  Only
Navy blue, Land Rover Green, Brown and Black.

I prefer them to the other shorts avaialble.

Ron


Steve S <steves@bigfoot.com.au> wrote in message
news:3BEFC19F.2553F397@bigfoot.com.au...
> So can someone explain to me why "stubbies" with the little change pocket
> on the front went out of fashion/production... they would have been 70's
> gear I guess, back with the boob tube and cork soles!!
>
> Flash
>
> gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote:
>
> > On Mon, 12 Nov 2001 17:31:16 +1100, "Ben Deane-Freeman"
> > <budgetrecordings@bigpond.com> wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote in message ...
> > >>It all began in New Guinea in the 1930's when British missionaries
> > >>would parachute-drop packages of baggy shorts to highland villagers
> > >
> > >Is this where "parachute pants" came from, too?
> > >
> >
> > Of course.
> >
> > "I do stuff my hands".......Gra-gra
>

you could also try a workclobber type place (selling industrial clothing
etc) a few guys I work with have stubbies shorts -and- trousers

--

Nita
-----------------------------------------------------------------
2001 VTR250
-----------------------------------------------------------------
http://qns.ii.net
-----------------------------------------------------------------
-
"The Becketts" <hillman@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:eo6I7.232710$8x1.40949@newsfeeds.bigpond.com...
> You can still get Stubbies at KMart.   But not in fashion (?) colours.
Only
> Navy blue, Land Rover Green, Brown and Black.
>
> I prefer them to the other shorts avaialble.
>
> Ron
>
>
> Steve S <steves@bigfoot.com.au> wrote in message
> news:3BEFC19F.2553F397@bigfoot.com.au...
> > So can someone explain to me why "stubbies" with the little change
pocket
> > on the front went out of fashion/production... they would have been 70's
> > gear I guess, back with the boob tube and cork soles!!
> >
> > Flash
> >
> > gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote:
> >
> > > On Mon, 12 Nov 2001 17:31:16 +1100, "Ben Deane-Freeman"
> > > <budgetrecordings@bigpond.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >gra_gra@webwombat.REMOVE.com.au wrote in message ...
> > > >>It all began in New Guinea in the 1930's when British missionaries
> > > >>would parachute-drop packages of baggy shorts to highland villagers
> > > >
> > > >Is this where "parachute pants" came from, too?
> > > >
> > >
> > > Of course.
> > >
> > > "I do stuff my hands".......Gra-gra
> >
>
>