🚀 go-pugleaf

David Wallace's News wrote:

> Himmmmm I dont notice a joke in this post...
>
> Max11948 wrote in message <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
> >I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
> >newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
> >bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
> >them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
> >break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
> >please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
> >heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
> >

SORRY, HERE IS THE JOKE I MEANT TO PUT IN THAT POST:

Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the
memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood",
and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says
"Somebody gonna get the door or what?"

In article <351b0472.0@cscnews.cit.ac.nz>, "David Wallace's News" <WALLACDA@mail.cit.ac.nz> wrote:
>Himmmmm I dont notice a joke in this post...
>
....sure you do......it's the fool who
wrote the driblle below......he's 'probly
the joke of his blood line..................

>Max11948 wrote in message <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
>>I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
>>newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
>>bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
>>them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
>>break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
>>please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
>>heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
>>
>
>

Hey Max,does that give ya some idea what their life is like.....LOL

Max11948 wrote:

> I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
> newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
> bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
> them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
> break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
> please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
> heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.

>SORRY, HERE IS THE JOKE I MEANT TO PUT IN THAT POST:
>
>Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the
>memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood",
>and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says
>"Somebody gonna get the door or what?"
>

......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................

Max11948 wrote:

> I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
> newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
> bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
> them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
> break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
> please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
> heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.

   Re:  What goes black, white, black, white, black, white? Re:    Reply
Please!!
Can anyone give an extensive commentary about the above? Mass Debate!

Max11948 <jandbewart@worldnet.att.net> wrote in article
<6ff3bg$3ji@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>...
| 

| SORRY, HERE IS THE JOKE I MEANT TO PUT IN THAT POST:
| 
| Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's
the
| memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood",
| and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says
| "Somebody gonna get the door or what?"
| 
| 

This would be one of those in the half I've heard a thousand times.

jd
NOTE -- joke follows

On a stop at a senior citizen's center  planned for Bob Dole's recent
failed campaign tour, He finished his speech and began making the
hand-shaking rounds.  As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to
be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?".  Her response
was simply, "No, but there's a nice woman at the front desk who can tell
you!"

Himmmmm I dont notice a joke in this post...

Max11948 wrote in message <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
>I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
>newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
>bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
>them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
>break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
>please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
>heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
>

Max11948 <jandbewart@worldnet.att.net> wrote in article
<6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
> I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
> newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
> bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
> them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
> break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
> please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
> heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.

speak for yourself, shit stealer.
-gorie
p.s. what did the cow say to the chicken ?
p.p.s. MOO !

If you don't like the newsgroup, UNSUBSCRIBE DICKWAD!

Scott Webb

Max11948 wrote in message <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
>I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
>newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
>bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
>them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
>break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
>please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
>heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
>
>

 >I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
 >newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
 >bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
 >them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
 >break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
 >please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
 >heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
 >

>SORRY, HERE IS THE JOKE I MEANT TO PUT IN THAT POST:
>
>Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the
>memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood",
>and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says
>"Somebody gonna get the door or what?"
>

Actually, even worse is the spam for joke lists that don't include samples -
I'm not looking up any joke list that is too stingy to include a joke. Also
extremely annoying are the posts that repost a joke and add the word 'test'
to the bottom. Ditto those that just have the 'test' in the body. If you
must test your news postings - post your own joke you lazy schmucks, besides
if you click on send (or post for OE), it should send it and it should work.
You'll soon know the first time you send a GENUINE post.

P.S. How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Six, one to hold the light bulb and 5 to drink enough alcohol to make the
room spin around.

CheechWizard <located@a.tittybar> wrote in article
<6fgf0r$l4a@hermes.acs.unt.edu>...
> In article <351b0472.0@cscnews.cit.ac.nz>, "David Wallace's News"
<WALLACDA@mail.cit.ac.nz> wrote:
> >Himmmmm I dont notice a joke in this post...
> >
> ....sure you do......it's the fool who
> wrote the driblle below......he's 'probly
> the joke of his blood line..................
> 
> >Max11948 wrote in message <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
> >>I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
> >>newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
> >>bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
> >>them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
> >>break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
> >>please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
> >>heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
> >>
OK, so where's YOUR joke, wantkstain?  KM 

In article <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>, 
jandbewart@worldnet.att.net says...
>
 If you must post a reply then
>please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
>heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
>


Aw Max c'mon, can't you take a joke ???

Thank you. at least someone hates those arseholes as much as I do

Michael Walker wrote:

>  >I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
>  >newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
>  >bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
>  >them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
>  >break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
>  >please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
>  >heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
>  >
>
> >SORRY, HERE IS THE JOKE I MEANT TO PUT IN THAT POST:
> >
> >Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the
> >memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood",
> >and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says
> >"Somebody gonna get the door or what?"
> >
>
> Actually, even worse is the spam for joke lists that don't include samples -
> I'm not looking up any joke list that is too stingy to include a joke. Also
> extremely annoying are the posts that repost a joke and add the word 'test'
> to the bottom. Ditto those that just have the 'test' in the body. If you
> must test your news postings - post your own joke you lazy schmucks, besides
> if you click on send (or post for OE), it should send it and it should work.
> You'll soon know the first time you send a GENUINE post.
>
> P.S. How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
>
> Six, one to hold the light bulb and 5 to drink enough alcohol to make the
> room spin around.

 Why I Fired My Secretary

I woke up early feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought,
"I'm another year older" but decided not to dwell
on it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife
would greet me with a big kiss and say,
"Happy birthday, dear."

All smiles, I went into breakfast, and there sat my wife reading the newspaper
as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got
myself a cup of coffee and thought, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down
in a few minutes they will sing Happy Birthday'
and have a nice gift for me."

There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally the kids came running
into the kitchen yelling, "Give me a slice of toast."
"I'm late." "Where is my coat?" "I'm going to miss the bus." Feeling more
depressed than ever, I left for office.

When I walked in, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful,
"Happy birthday, boss." She then asked if she
could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot
better.

Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said "Since
it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch
together?' Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, "That's a good idea."

So we locked up the office, and because it was my birthday, I said, "Why don't
we drive out of town and have lunch in the
country, instead of going to the usual place?" So we drove out of town and went
to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple
of martinis and a nice lunch. We started driving back to town when my secretary
said, "why don't we go by my place, and I will
fix you another martini?" It sounded like a good idea, because we didn't have
much to do in the office. So we went to her
apartment, and she fixed some martinis.

After a while, she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into
something more comfortable," and she left the room. In a
few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday
cake. Following her were my wife and all my
kids. And there I sat with nothing on but my socks.

In article <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>, jandbewart@worldnet.att.net wrote:
>I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
>newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
>bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
>them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
>break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
>please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
>heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
>


For people who do not give a shit, I highly recommend a good 
laxative!


OB joke

 Q: What is white and crawls up your legs? 

   A: Uncle Ben's perverted rice! 

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Keith Martin wrote:
> 
> CheechWizard <located@a.tittybar> wrote in article
> <6fgf0r$l4a@hermes.acs.unt.edu>...
> > In article <351b0472.0@cscnews.cit.ac.nz>, "David Wallace's News"
> <WALLACDA@mail.cit.ac.nz> wrote:
> > >Himmmmm I dont notice a joke in this post...
> > >
> > ....sure you do......it's the fool who
> > wrote the driblle below......he's 'probly
> > the joke of his blood line..................
> >
> > >Max11948 wrote in message <6feq82$men@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
> > >>I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
> > >>newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
> > >>bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
> > >>them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
> > >>break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
> > >>please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
> > >>heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
> > >>
> OK, so where's YOUR joke, wantkstain?  KM

Et tu, Wankermeister?

Three blondes have just died and are at the Pearly Gates of
Heaven.  St. Peter tells them that they can enter the Gates if
they can answer one simple question.  He asks the first
blonde, "What is Easter?"

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy!  It's the holiday in
November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and
is thankful..."

The second blonde replies, "No, Easter is the holiday in
December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents,
and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the two blondes, shakes his head in
disgust, looks at the third blonde and again asks, "WHAT IS
EASTER?"

The third blonde smiles and looks St. Peter in the eye.  "I
know what  Easter is.  Easter is the Christian holiday that
coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover.  After
Jesus and his disciples had eaten the last supper, Jesus
was betrayed and turned over to the Romans by one of the
disciples.  The Romans took him to be crucified and he was
stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and
was hung on a cross.   He was buried in a nearby cave which
was sealed off by a large boulder.  Every year the boulder is
moved aside so that Jesus can come out, and if he sees his
shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter..."



-- 
Gozer the Traveller - he will come in one of the prechosen forms. 
During the rectification of the Valdranaii, the traveller came as a
large 
and moving Torr! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of
the 
Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him - THAT OF A GIANT 
SLORR! Many shubs and zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the 
depths of the slorr that day, I can tell you!
                -Ghostbusters