🚀 go-pugleaf

Is it just me, or when you're performing colonoscopic surgery on one of your 
best friends does Whoopi Goldberg suddenly come smashing through your bedroom 
door, bouncing on a large glowing legless wax replica of Fabio severed in the 
middle with a pogo stick protruding from his anus, and wearing a live 
thrashing octopus on her head while screaming "I am a coprophage!  Look at my 
smile!  I am a coprophage!  Hit me in the head with a shovel!  Please!"




-- Dr. Squid  ><><  (drsquid@ix.netcom.com)
   *   All writing is garbage. People who come out of nowhere to *
   *   try to put into words anypart of what goes on in their    *
   *   minds are pigs.                                           *
   *         -- Antonin Artaud (From "The Nerve Meter")          *

In article <4603c4$rs2@ixnews5.ix.netcom.com>, drsquid@ix.netcom.com (Dr.
Squid) wrote:

>Is it just me, or when you're performing colonoscopic surgery on one of your 
>best friends does Whoopi Goldberg suddenly come smashing through your bedroom 
>door, bouncing on a large glowing legless wax replica of Fabio severed in the 
>middle with a pogo stick protruding from his anus, and wearing a live 
>thrashing octopus on her head while screaming "I am a coprophage!  Look at my 
>smile!  I am a coprophage!  Hit me in the head with a shovel!  Please!"

  Is it just me, or when you're walking your pet aligator down Venice
Beach during a solar eclipse, a muscular jock comes up to you with bat
guano dripping from his nose and a loop of his small intestine dragging in
the sand, and just before he can whap you on the head with a petrified
chicken two screaming Michael Bolton impersonators wearing tutus and and
each carrying a bottle of vermouth two-step over to an eviscerated
Courtney Cox and stuff her body cavity with the remains of John Merrick
and flaming copies of Spy Magazine?

--levendis

"Angst on the planks, spittin' from | "And I maintain, if they wanted
a bridge, just to see how far down  | you to know what was in it, they 
it really is..."                    | would have printed it on the
-- _Cordelia_, The Tragically Hip   | label. Now shut up and eat." -- Me
------------------------------------------------------------------------
E-Mail: dstaffen@the.link.ca          WWW: http://www.link.ca/~dstaffen/

In article <dstaffen-1710952052590001@dstaffen.link.ca>,
dstaffen@the.link.ca (levendis) wrote: (Don't you just LOVE these
intuitive article names?)

> In article <4603c4$rs2@ixnews5.ix.netcom.com>, drsquid@ix.netcom.com (Dr.
> Squid) wrote:
> 
> >Is it just me, or when you're performing colonoscopic surgery on one of your 
> >best friends does Whoopi Goldberg suddenly come smashing through your
bedroom 
> >door, bouncing on a large glowing legless wax replica of Fabio severed
in the 
> >middle with a pogo stick protruding from his anus, and wearing a live 
> >thrashing octopus on her head while screaming "I am a coprophage!  Look
at my 
> >smile!  I am a coprophage!  Hit me in the head with a shovel!  Please!"
> 
>   Is it just me, or when you're walking your pet aligator down Venice
> Beach during a solar eclipse, a muscular jock comes up to you with bat
> guano dripping from his nose and a loop of his small intestine dragging in
> the sand, and just before he can whap you on the head with a petrified
> chicken two screaming Michael Bolton impersonators wearing tutus and and
> each carrying a bottle of vermouth two-step over to an eviscerated
> Courtney Cox and stuff her body cavity with the remains of John Merrick
> and flaming copies of Spy Magazine?
> 
> --levendis

No, that's not just you. I hate that. Almost as much as when I'm doing
no-hand cartwheels through the tollbooth at Georgia 400 and the ground
opens up and I land in the middle of a Freemasons convention in an
abandoned tire yard in New Jersey and they offer me some green smoking
liquid in a fez and I drink it and all of the sudden Trent Reznor shows up
and starts beating the crap out of a cat in such a way that it does a
pretty good rendition of "Hey Joe" only it's really screechy and there's
this weird-ass synthesized drum music coming out of the engine of a 1954
Pontiac and I start grooving to the music until the tollbooth operator
slaps me across the face with a unicycle and tells me I didn't bring
enough pancakes to reshingle her outhouse.

Last time that happened, the guys in the white coats took away my weekend pass.

_brian
_development elf
_byers cadnet atlanta georgia

-- 
Brian Trammell
Millipede Technologies, Atlanta, Georgia

Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of the pseudo-dadaist maturbatory 
crap posted in newsgroups on a regular basis by people who think that 
there's nothing funnier than typing a string of unrelated words and 
calling it humor?

Let me elaborate:  gonzo journalism is a narrative style that rejects the 
school of though that calls for a dispassionate "objective voice."  From 
what I see in this newsgroup, several of you seem to think gonzo 
journalism consists of only a few chapters of Fear and Loathing in Las 
Vegas, a book which is much more than HST's hallucinations in the Nevada 
desert.

HST's work is a biting incisive commentary on the dark night of the 
American soul.  Dr. Squiddy et al are not fit to scrape the peacock shit 
of Thompson's front porch, let alone carry the torch of gonzo journalism.

Walter Thompson (daveb@cs.com) wrote:
: Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of the pseudo-dadaist maturbatory 
: crap posted in newsgroups on a regular basis by people who think that 
: there's nothing funnier than typing a string of unrelated words and 
: calling it humor?

Yeah - that shit has the potential to be really funny, but the crap
that gets posted here is just really stupid and lame.  If you're gonna
write it, write it _good_, for shit's sake.

--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Steve Drost             "They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
Dordt College DC 338    For trying to change the system from within
Sioux Center, IA.       I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them
51250                   First, we take Manhattan...
lcsdrst@cc.dordt.edu                   ...then we take Berlin."
                                  -Leonard Cohen
V  I  S  U  A  L  I  Z  E     W  H  I  R  L  E  D     P  E  A  S  !  !       
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>I'm really sorry for ya, Walt, I truly am!  Life without the daily cream-rinse 
>can truly be dismal.  Ahh feeeahl yur pa... Hey wait!  You ever think'a takin' 
>up grave robbin'?!


Bravo!!



               

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                "A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                              

No sense of humor in this one.  No candy for you.

  Cordially,

  Paul T. Riddell
  http://themet.computek.net

>>Let me elaborate:  gonzo journalism is a narrative style that
rejects the
>>school of though that calls for a dispassionate "objective voice."
From
>>what I see in this newsgroup, several of you seem to think gonzo
>>journalism consists of only a few chapters of Fear and Loathing in
Las
>>Vegas, a book which is much more than HST's hallucinations in the
Nevada
>>desert.

Allow me to introduce your egotisical gonzo: journalism. Having
appropriated the craft, your own narritive style reflects the
school of thought that calls for passionate narcissim on parade.
From what I see in your replies, you seem to think gonzo consists
of political rectum; ie: the biggest asshole has all the power. A
few chapters of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas doesn't impress you,
its simply a book bigger than the rest of us, and that makes you
hallucinate as follows:

>>HST's work is a biting incisive commentary on the dark night of the
>>American soul.  Dr. Squiddy et al are not fit to scrape the peacock
shit
>>of Thompson's front porch, let alone carry the torch of gonzo
journalism.

Mr. Walter Thompson, you are not fit to work with biting incisive
commentary. Not only does the dark night of the American soul
scrape its peacock shit in your face, but the torch of gonzo
journalism is the bathroom light bulb which enables HST to take a
piss without missing the bowl.

In article <468oem$rfq@alterdial.UU.NET>,
   Walter Thompson <daveb@cs.com> wrote:
>Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of the pseudo-dadaist maturbatory 
>crap posted in newsgroups on a regular basis by people who think that 
>there's nothing funnier than typing a string of unrelated words and 
>calling it humor?
>

Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of pseudo-expert-I-am-the-final-
authority-on-this lectures from anal-vice-grip controll-freak necrophiles who, 
since they so tragically lost their job at the morgue, are NOW no longer able 
to get that regular "woody" they need in order to jump-start their day and, 
flailing around in a fit of helpless impotent rage, GRASP at anything ---- 
*ANYONE*, in some futile effort to try and flog them to death and, by so 
doing, regain some semblance of lost controll and more importantly to 
"resurrect" lil ole Woody who had ta go'an die like this on'em... (sob sob... 
sniff sniff...) It's just too painful for words, I know, Walt, just so IRONIC 
that it was the DEAD that brought lil Woody to life and now that they're all 
gone lil Woody durned hadta go'n get dead hisself!  ISSS JUSSS'A DAAAYAMN 
SHAME!!!

I'm really sorry for ya, Walt, I truly am!  Life without the daily cream-rinse 
can truly be dismal.  Ahh feeeahl yur pa... Hey wait!  You ever think'a takin' 
up grave robbin'?!





-- Dr. Squid  ><><  (drsquid@ix.netcom.com)
   *   All writing is garbage. People who come out of nowhere to *
   *   try to put into words anypart of what goes on in their    *
   *   minds are pigs.                                           *
   *         -- Antonin Artaud (From "The Nerve Meter")          *

In article <breitt.437.0A5BD591@interaccess.com>, breitt@interaccess.com
(Candy-Colored Clown) wrote:

>In article <468vua$sq8@bbs.dordt.edu> lcsdrst@dordt.edu (Steve Drost) writes:
>>From: lcsdrst@dordt.edu (Steve Drost)
>>Subject: Re: New! Perform Colonoscopic Surgery In The Comfort Of Your Own Home
>>Date: 20 Oct 1995 20:14:02 GMT
>
>>Walter Thompson (daveb@cs.com) wrote:
>>: Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of the pseudo-dadaist maturbatory 
>>: crap posted in newsgroups on a regular basis by people who think that 
>>: there's nothing funnier than typing a string of unrelated words and 
>>: calling it humor?
>
>>Yeah - that shit has the potential to be really funny, but the crap
>>that gets posted here is just really stupid and lame.  If you're gonna
>>write it, write it _good_, for shit's sake.
>
>Again--easy to criticize, but not so easy to create.  We artistes are not 
>chimps waiting to pass your little tests.  At least we have the balls to try.  
>Now go back to idolizing has-been authors and shut up.

  *MY* point is that it's *EASY* to create this crap! Do you think I slave
away over my keyboard for hours at a time? NO! I pound out this
meaningless slop in under 10 minutes. If you, Mr. Clown, are saying that
it's hard to do this you are wrong.

  And now that I've made my point, I'll stop posting follow-ups to your work.

  Thanks for your time,

--levendis

Once again Eros of the golden locks tosses
his purple ball to me and challenges me to start a game
with the nymphet in the colorful slippers.
But she -- for she hails from well-built Lesbos --
finds my hair (it's grizzled) contemptible
and goes gaping after another girl. -- Anacreon, Fragment 358
-----------------------------------------------------------------
#8 in a series... Collect them all!
E-Mail: dstaffen@the.link.ca   URL: http://www.link.ca/~dstaffen/

>>Let me elaborate:  gonzo journalism is a narrative style that
rejects the
>>school of though that calls for a dispassionate "objective voice."
From
>>what I see in this newsgroup, several of you seem to think gonzo
>>journalism consists of only a few chapters of Fear and Loathing in
Las
>>Vegas, a book which is much more than HST's hallucinations in the
Nevada
>>desert.

Allow me to introduce your egotisical gonzo: journalism. Having
appropriated the craft, your own narritive style reflects the
school of thought that calls for passionate narcissim on parade.
From what I see in your replies, you seem to think gonzo consists
of political rectum; ie: the biggest asshole has all the power. A
few chapters of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas doesn't impress you,
its simply a book bigger than the rest of us, and that makes you
hallucinate as follows:

>>HST's work is a biting incisive commentary on the dark night of the
>>American soul.  Dr. Squiddy et al are not fit to scrape the peacock
shit
>>of Thompson's front porch, let alone carry the torch of gonzo
journalism.

Mr. Walter Thompson, you are not fit to work with biting incisive
commentary. Not only does the dark night of the American soul
scrape its peacock shit in your face, but the torch of gonzo
journalism is the bathroom light bulb which enables HST to take a
piss without missing the bowl.

In article <breitt.446.0019F1D9@interaccess.com>, breitt@interaccess.com 
says...
>
>
>>  *MY* point is that it's *EASY* to create this crap! Do you think I slave
>>away over my keyboard for hours at a time? NO! I pound out this
>>meaningless slop in under 10 minutes. If you, Mr. Clown, are saying that
>>it's hard to do this you are wrong.
>
>>  And now that I've made my point, I'll stop posting follow-ups to your 
work.
>
>>  Thanks for your time,
>
>Thanks for your time, too.  Although it was wasted time.  You see, the ten 
>minutes you spent pounding out this meaningless slop is fruitless because 
it's 
>not done properly.  It lacks the appropriate pacing, juxtaposition, and 
>punctuation.  If you'd like, I will tutor you for a nominal service charge. 
 
*Sigh* Look's like the Flash is back on-line...

TIGER

>  *MY* point is that it's *EASY* to create this crap! Do you think I slave
>away over my keyboard for hours at a time? NO! I pound out this
>meaningless slop in under 10 minutes. If you, Mr. Clown, are saying that
>it's hard to do this you are wrong.

>  And now that I've made my point, I'll stop posting follow-ups to your work.

>  Thanks for your time,

Thanks for your time, too.  Although it was wasted time.  You see, the ten 
minutes you spent pounding out this meaningless slop is fruitless because it's 
not done properly.  It lacks the appropriate pacing, juxtaposition, and 
punctuation.  If you'd like, I will tutor you for a nominal service charge.  
               

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                "A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                              

In <breitt.427.01A365B7@interaccess.com> breitt@interaccess.com
(Candy-Colored Clown) writes: 
>
>You've read about it!  You've seen it on TV!  Now available without
federally 
>mandated doctor's supervision--DigiColonics proudly presents the new 
>DeColonator 5000!!  No more uncomfortable hospital visits, confusing
medical 
>insurance forms, or messy stool samples!  Simply plug our patented 
>Colonoscopic Extractor (tm) into an available serial port on the back
of your 
>PC, follow the easy online instructions provided with our software,
insert the 
>extractor into you rectum, and it's "bye-bye colon!"  Yes it's that
simple!  
>In a matter of hours, you'll be colon-free!  Our automated medical
waste 
>disposal system ensures safe and easy self-surgery which is fun for
the whole 
>family!  In fact, we're so sure you'll enjoy the benefits of the
DeColonator 
>5000 that we back every unit sold with a no-questions-asked colon-back

>guarantee:  If, within 30 days, you're not completely satisfied for
any 
>reason, our medically-trained production supervisors will replace your
colon 
>absolutely free of charge!  You've got nothing to lose except your
colon-so 
>order today while supplies last!  Dial 1-800-NO-COLON!  Operators are
standing 
>by!
>
>DigiColonics-"If it won't excrete, it's time to delete!"
>               
>
>                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>                "A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
>                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>                                              
>
>
>
>

i don't know - i find it highly interesting

On 20 Oct 1995, Walter Thompson wrote:

> Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of the pseudo-dadaist maturbatory 
> crap posted in newsgroups on a regular basis by people who think that 
> there's nothing funnier than typing a string of unrelated words and 
> calling it humor?
> 
> 
> 

In a previous article, drsquid@ix.netcom.com (Dr. Squid) says:

>For cryin' out loud, the man's not even DEAD yet and you're already tryin' to 
>make him into some kind of resurrected messiah!  Hey!  Don't get me wrong.  I 
>like Hunter as well as the next guy, perhaps even a little more.  But I never 
>said I wanted to be one of his 12 apostles.  I never even claimed to be a 
>gonzo journalist.

Piss on the torch!  Why not something newer, something better? . . .
_hacker_ journalism, who knows -- the choice is yours.  But I'd be fucked
to try and repeat the Thompson escapades of the Dope Decade. . . . They
don't _make_ shit the same anymore: my '88 midnight-blue Chrysler LeBaron
convertible, albeit a fine and wonderful machine, is _nothing_ to a '72
El Dorado convertible.  But where you gonna get one now -- one that _runs_?
Dope -- for some -- can be a nice spiritual joyride once in a while, but
emulating Hunter's binges is definitely _not_ for me.  This isn't the day
and age for LSD and pills, I don't think.  We've got more than enough subtle
psychedelia in the datasphere to satisfy . . . psychotropics -- SSRIs -- is
where it's at now, I'm _tellin'_ ya.  And they're _legal_.

But fuck, even analyzing the past and making sure you're not doing the
same, but rather 'modernizing' it -- fuck, isn't it just as derivative?

m/finger stutz@rs6000.baldwinw.edu


OnNow: Satan's Pilgrims, a retro surf-o-matic band on Estrus.  Coincidence?

<rant about Hunter Thompson mostly snipped>

>but emulating Hunter's binges is definitely _not_ for me.  This isn't the day
>and age for LSD and pills, I don't think.  We've got more than enough subtle
>psychedelia in the datasphere to satisfy . . . psychotropics -- SSRIs -- is
>where it's at now, I'm _tellin'_ ya.  And they're _legal_.
>
>But fuck, even analyzing the past and making sure you're not doing the
>same, but rather 'modernizing' it -- fuck, isn't it just as derivative?
>
>m/finger stutz@rs6000.baldwinw.edu
>
>
>OnNow: Satan's Pilgrims, a retro surf-o-matic band on Estrus.  Coincidence?

Interesting combination of newsgroups you're crossposting to. I got pretty 
excited when what's left of my drug-deranged brain seized on the word "gonzo." 
After all, that's the only reason I read this newsgroup, hoping beyond hope 
that someday Hunter, the only man I could ever really give myself to, will 
show up with an alt.personals ad of his own and whisk me off to Woody Creek 
where we'll cuddle up in the hot tub until Armageddon finally comes.

And honey? Gratuitous overuse of the word "fuck" may make you FEEL smart, but 
it doesn't do that much to make you look smart. Go back and read more HST to 
get a better feel for effective use of profanity. Best wishes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
           Idealism must always prevail on the frontier,
  because the frontier, whether geographical or intellectual,
  offers little hope to those who see things as they are.
  To venture into the wilderness, one must see it, not as it is,
   but as it will be.                       ~~~~Carl Becker
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A. L. Maroso (maroso@ux5.cso.uiuc.edu) wrote:
: i don't know - i find it highly interesting

i don't know - i find it highly stupid

: On 20 Oct 1995, Walter Thompson wrote:

: > Is it just me, or is anyone else tired of the pseudo-dadaist maturbatory 
: > crap posted in newsgroups on a regular basis by people who think that 
: > there's nothing funnier than typing a string of unrelated words and 
: > calling it humor?
: > 
: > 
: > 

--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Steve Drost             "They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
Dordt College DC 338    For trying to change the system from within
Sioux Center, IA.       I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them
51250                   First, we take Manhattan...
lcsdrst@cc.dordt.edu                   ...then we take Berlin."
                                  -Leonard Cohen
V  I  S  U  A  L  I  Z  E     W  H  I  R  L  E  D     P  E  A  S  !  !       
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

its just you!!!!.......